Not being at the top.

Before you go to med school, people do warn you: you wont be the best in your class anymore. You might be used to being the smartest person here, but you've got to remember that these people were the best of their class too.

And I never thought it'd really be a problem.

But there are moments. Like when someone in uni says, I tell them everything, I'd trust them with anything. Or when you're asking someone else for advice, and they're really diplomatic.
Or during work, when someone says, 'he's a legend, he just gazes off for a second, and comes out with the answer'.

And you think, that used to be me.

So its not the old cliche of not being the top of the class anymore, but the place you held and had grown accustomed to wont be assumed when you go to uni.

And it's not the end of the world, and people don't know each other as deeply yet, but it is strange.

The beginning of what is about to happen.

Ok, decided to start this blog.

Im in my first year of medical school, at my last choice of university. I wasn't sure I wanted to be a Doctor.

I don't like hospitals, and don't like the factory-line of surgery.

However being a GP appeals, but my GP is a miserable, and my personal tutor is GP that wishes she'd become a specialist, and hates her job.

So to keep myself stable, (just recovered from my 3rd oh-my-god-I-don't-want-to-do-this-for-the-rest-of-my-life phase), I've decided to get the story from outside of uni, and to share my own experiences.

Cos doubts felt like blasphemy in med school among a couple of hundred people who want to be Doctors.